Thursday, November 16, 2017

Blake Shelton is NOT Sexy

Okay, I can understand that there might possibly be newer up-and-comers (ahem) who might be sexier than or AS sexy as The Rock.

But Blake Shelton is not even fucking close to being one of them.

Here's where I caught wind of this proof that the majority of people cannot be relied upon to vote for people who are qualified for the position:

The Rock comments on no longer being the sexiest man alive


I suspect this is part of of our country's mad regressive rush into an insane white-lives-matter mentality. NEWS FLASH: if this is your poster boy, he's not proving your point with his piggy close-set eyes. He is much closer to ugly than sexy. Like ... anybody who wants to make a good mating choice would rule him out. Unless you are a fucking inbred moron.

Also? Most country music on the radio is not "country" or even "music" anymore; it's formula-driven commercial basic SHIT and straight-up propaganda.

I don't have a problem with loving guys who are as unattractive as Blake Shelton, or coming to find them attractive based on other factors. If you're married to someone who looks like Blake Shelton, I think it's super sweet if you post how he's The Sexiest Man Alive on your facebook wall. And I do not support people calling people ugly (the way I'm doing here) except in a situation like this. But objectively speaking, this is not a guy with sexy genes. Just fucking NOT. Gross. What the fuck is wrong with people????? Why is everybody so fucking stupid???????

It's frustrating, the ridiculously high(?) standards of beauty & sexiness women are held to, while THIS ugly tiny-featured average-at-best jackass is crowned The Sexiest.

Pretty sure the reason bitches voted for him is BECAUSE he's an insulting, stupid, proudly simple-minded shithole:

People's "Sexiest Man Alive" Blake Shelton Has Apparently Tweeted Some Very Problematic Things

Have fun making America "Great Again" ... aka totally destroying everything good about it and creating a flammable cesspool and forcing us all to live in it with your dumb fucking hateful shit-for-brains asses.


Friday, March 10, 2017

BitchRants.com

I finally bought the domain: bitchrants.com

If you type it in, it redirects you here to the blogspot.

Nothing fancy about it right now, I just wanted to have it. Because THERE IS SO MUCH TO BITCH ABOUT THESE DAYS. Know what I mean?

Saturday, February 04, 2017

Regression of Civilization

We are not becoming more civilized. With alllllllllllllll of the advancements, all of the access to information, all of the TOOLS ... we are becoming LESS civil. Accomplishing less. Squandering more. Advancing not towards more beauty, more kindness, higher qualities, more wisdom, better health, more wealth FOR ALL ... instead we're advancing into dark, stupid, hateful, ugly territories of decayed values, inconsideration, disrespect for ourselves AND others, and absent morals. Missing a sense of responsibility to be WORTHY of pride,

I already knew it, but ... I didn't really want such ugly proof I was right.

Thursday, December 31, 2015

It's NOT 2016 Yet, Assholes

I live on the WEST COAST. The PACIFIC NORTHWEST coast.

It's only fucking 9:03 PM here and some shitholes have been blowing up fireworks for the past three minutes like they don't know where the fuck they're at.

Go back to the fucking east coast if that's the way you want it, dickstains. And you better pack up all your fear-of-nature noise-polluting New Yorker bullshit and take it home with you. I don't want to hear it, and I don't want to see you wearing ballcaps and jerseys supporting your fucking east coast sports teams, either.

Happy fucking new year, assholes.

Barking & Bitching

I'm *really* excited about the dog barking in our neighborhood. At THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MORNING.

Oh ... nice. It just stopped AFTER, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES or whatever as soon as I typed that. I guess five minutes isn't a really long time. UNLESS YOU WERE FUCKING SLEEPING.

I wasn't. So it just gave me something great to exuberantly bitch about!

*****

I've got a lot of bitch drafts in the hopper, just waiting for the right time to post them.

One of these days ...

Friday, May 09, 2014

Splurging on Dinner Out with YOUR FUCKING BABY

Dear assholes who take your fucking babies to fancy restaurants: PAY FOR EVERYBODY'S MEAL.

When you bring your crying infant or noisy child to an expensive restaurant YOU ARE EFFECTIVELY RUINING PEOPLE'S NIGHT OUT. One they may have saved for a month for. That they are not paying $17-$50 a plate to eat accompanied by the sound of you trying to baby-talk your child out of screaming, or train them how to sit in a high chair ("sit your bottom down :: sit your BOTTOM down :: SIT your bottom down :: SIT your BOTTOM down! :: SIT YOUR BOTTOM DOWN!") or endure the drama of your precious toddler choking while you throw it over your knee and whack it repeatedly in the spleen.

What kind of a fucking asshole are you? You're a shitty self-centered fuckwad with too much money. I'd be happy to relieve you of all of it minus cab fare to get you the fuck home and away from everybody's else's grown-up dinner.

There is a difference between The Old Spaghetti Factory or a family diner and a pricey restaurant with walls lined with drugs (aka alcohol). Your little fucking child does not belong there. If the average price of an entree is over $15, YOUR BABY SHOULDN'T BE THERE. *****ASSHOLES*****

This is for you, mouthbreathers at The _____ Grill on this Friday in Seattle tonight. I don't know if it was the parents' choice, or the grandparents perhaps insisting NO IT WILL BE *FINE* KIDS! OUR TREAT!! LITTLE FUSSY HONEYPANTS WILL BE JUST FINE THERE!!

Actually I really blame restaurants for this. You have no fucking business allowing barefoot people, dogs, folks with their dicks hanging out of their pants or wee ones into a restaurant where you charge those kinds of prices. Your food is delicious and worth it, but you should comp everyone or give the whole house deep discounts if you compromise the entire dining experience by letting morons in with their noisy little creatures.

Now that I think about it, I would MUCH rather sit next to a barefoot dog with its dick hanging out of its pants in a nice restaurant than a baby, okay?

FUCK PEOPLE IN RESTAURANTS WHO BRINGS THEIR BABIES AND/OR TALK ON THEIR PHONES. FUCK YOU. FUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

No. You DO NOT actually REALLY REALLY LOVE Books

I just saw this stupid fucking headline and clicked on it:

11 Incredible Bookcases For People Who Really, Really Love Their Books

It's stupid as fuck, like every "incredible" list of bullshit Huffpo & other shitty "news" & hack click-monkey page-view-driven sites concoct is. Let me explain three reasons why:
  • *People who really love books don't fucking waste space arranging them into minimalist flower and treble clef arrangements- they have entirely too many books for that kind of pinteresting bullshit
  • *People who really love books PUT THEM IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER, or have another system which works best when not forcing the books they love into ridiculously ornate geometric patterns on little tiny stupid shelves
  • *People who really love books usually know better than to write shit like REALLY, REALLY!!

But just for the record, I really love the reclaimed ladder the best. Though it's totally annoyingly impractical because the "shelf" isn't deep enough to line up the DIFFERENTLY-SIZED books (nobody who loves books has books that are all the same size) so that their spines are smoothly faced; you can't do that when the books need to touch the wall in order to rest normally rather than balancing just on the ladder. Also: tiny books won't work on that.

So yeah. Totally fucking STUPID. If I see this in your house, I will know you DO NOT, in fact, LOVE BOOKS. Not yours, not anybody's. Fuck off.

Try Saying Thank You, You Self-Absorbed Entitled Fucking Bitch

I just held the door open for a lady walking out of a store carrying a big box.

I did not hold the door open IN ORDER TO receive praise, I did it because it's the nice and right thing to do when someone has their hands full.

She acted like I wasn't even there. No eye contact, like I was put on earth simply to pave her way towards the smooth and easy life she deserves.

Even worse, she had two little girls following her so was teaching them how to be inconsiderate pieces of shit.

I know she is endowed with the gift of speech because I heard her finish a sentence to someone else. And it wasn't like her kids were talking a lot to her (they weren't talking at all) or she was multitasking or carrying on conversations with other people - she wasn't. There was plenty of time and opportunity and silence to fucking say THANK YOU.

*****

She was pretty. With long blonde hair.

I wonder if I'd have felt more or less disgusted if she hadn't been attractive, wearing glasses and pricey winter casual-country wear that seemed like movie props to make her seem crunchier when you know if she were in the city she'd have on a cashmere sweater and contacts. She was dressed like a character on Frasier would dress to go to the cabin with him and Niles, and she put her box and children in her environmentally-sensitive car.

I had a rebuke on my lips (a snotty "you're welcome - have a nice day!" or "don't even say thank you, huh?") but I didn't say anything. And I wonder about that, too. Was I intimidated because she looked "high class"?

Since we started living part-time in Seattle I've been struggling a lot as I see more frequently how fucking shitty people with money are. Like, seriously fucking subhuman.

I know I shouldn't get so mad about things like this, but THIS IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD! Isn't it? At least part of it?

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Shitty Receipts with USELESS Information

So we're in an era where
  1. we pay for things with plastic (and we have LOTS of different cards)
  2. STORES PRINT OUT "RECEIPTS" THAT ARE AS LONG AS SANTA'S FUCKING NAUGHTY LIST and you need a special trapper keeper to file the fucking things
So how is it that these fucking stores can spew a mile of tape with all kinds of info on it at you BUT NEGLECT TO INDICATE WHICH CARD YOU USED TO PAY FOR YOUR PURCHASE???

Seriously??? What the fuck is wrong with this stupid world? It makes NO MOTHERFUCKING SENSE.

I shouldn't need to log into every single one of my credit card and debit card accounts online to try to cross-reference every fucking purchase in an attempt to figure out which account was charged or debited for my motherfucking  tampons and new shoes and wart removal and what-have-you.

GAH!

I could throw a fucking ticker-tape parade with the vast quantities of yards of receipt-ribbons and coupon bullshit cashiers have handed me in the past month BUT I CAN'T GO TO THE PARADE. Because I have to sit here reconstructing every fucking shopping trip like a super sleuth just to balance my fucking checkbook.

FUCK YOU, stores.

Also: handling those receipts give you fucking CANCER.

Oh god you fuckers please SPARE ME the bullshit about how fucking thankful I should be about how much shopping we get to do and I'm so LUCKY to have so many worthless receipts and there are children starving in Detroit who'd give ANYTHING for my binders full of receipts. SPARE ME. If  you want me to do penance and mortify myself before the blessed virgin saints of poverty FINE but this is NOT the way. I'd rather go make cheese out of monk-smegma in a monastery, and that's saying A LOT considering I'm lactose intolerant.