My butthole is dirty because I pooped four times today (plus a wet fart) and haven't had time to take a shower or do a million other really important things. I tried, but I just kept having to POOP! And the special things take time and I don't just want to plop them out. So I've been a grouchy asshole all day.
I got a fucking SLIVER in my ass from sliding across our wood floor to get under her to take hot pics. IN SWEATS I still got a sliver! I'm afraid it's going to get infected and ruin my life.
The drawing and the romance and the personal importance of it all, the fear of not presenting it carefully enough. The guilt of not presenting anything at all as a wrestle with trying to make it special. The guilt over sharing feelings but not ENOUGH of them so then I feel I've misrepresented people I care about.
I both want to do my job more and do it less. Just when I feel like things are BURSTING with excitement and potential, the next day I feel like quitting. I don't feel like I can do a good enough job and be fair to myself and to other people.