Radical Self-Acceptance?

What does radical self-acceptance look like for bitches? I mean ... how do you do it? What does it feel like?

I guess it's the same as for everybody else.

Chaotic NO

Pretty dorky rule-of-thumb to adopt at the age of 50, but I've decided to stay far away from anything but purely cursory interactions with anyone whose moral alignment is or seems to be chaotic neutral or chaotic evil or (maybe) even chaotic good. 

I don't want to deal with people who don't have (or aren't working towards having) a solid good-hearted system for calibrating their instruments for going through life, making decisions, coping & relating to others.

Accept & appreciate & be able to laugh at the chaos inherent in life, sure. ACT chaotic? Intentionally? NO. Especially if you're the kind of asshole who *actually* switches to LAWFUL EVIL when you have a narcissistic resentment or sense of entitlement. 

Like if you go around maniacally cackling with glee at all the chaos until something happens that inconveniences YOU or threatens YOUR ego and suddenly you've got a watertight step-by-step game plan for revenge that you throw all your energy into ... you're a by-the-book shithole.

Deleted the above from Twitter and moved over here for more careful thought and development / less potential for misinterpretation or thoughtless harm.

The Obstacle Is The Way

Today is a big deal for me.

I wanted to celebrate it: the 365th day in a row I did _____________. Practicing the thing that I am (not a bitch, but something better).

Instead of celebrating it and preparing with full-focus for the upcoming year of CONTINUING to do this thing daily, I’m leaving home / work for another journey: spending some more time with my mom and seeing her off before her gnarly surgery to eradicate pancreatic cancer, and staying to take care of her cat that got her through pandemic and I cannot bear to see left alone during my mom’s recovery and absence … or whatever else might happen.

It’s kind of been like this since I started this daily practice / accomplishment last Lunar New Year / 2022: the most emergent health challenges in my immediate family cropping up along with other unfortunate, highly-stressful, and time-consuming problems.

My resolve has definitely been tested since I began this; because of that I am clearer about what doing this every day for the rest of my life requires. I actually have *more* to celebrate: it has not been easy. This thing that will sound easy to other people has been harder than it looks like on paper.

If it were not for the obstacles, I would not know the importance of what I’m doing, and doing it better and MORE in this second year.

If it were not for the obstacles, I may not be so sure of my way.

Ended on Less of a Bitch Note

I may have started my trip by calling someone an asshole, but I wrapped it up by being downright sociable.

The human connections were so overwhelming, I cried. Into the wind, standing alone. As quietly as possible. Hot summer tears.