Come "Party"????

 Just saw a series of social media posts for a fundraiser, all issuing the invitation to

COME PARTY WITH US!

Every. Single. Word is a red flag to an introvert bitch.

COME = leave your cozy safe-haven and GO somewhere else

PARTY = omfg barf terrible yuck NO

WITH = so ... leave home to go somewhere that involves synchronized togetherness?!?!? yikes what next oh god 

US = a group of already-gathered people who identify as one unit like giddy coked-up hysterical borg all saying different things that mean the SAME thing but I can't clearly hear through the "party" music that I am supposed to be magnetized to and find more appealing than solitude

****

I think you know you are not and will never be one of the "US" when they are not expecting you to RSVP and do not need or want to know your "I will not be attending ... " RSVP. You only need RSVP to say you're coming, because otherwise they will not be prepared to welcome you specifically because you are not one of "us".

****

I get it. It's a fundraiser. It's not directed at me. It's advertising to a specific group of people, and in part is set up this way because the "US" actually is an exclusive group "you" should not have access to without prior consent and a willingness to contribute some funds.

I truly hope they are successful. I just felt inspired to say how much such words make the entire thing seem like HELL to someone like me.

And I am not the only one who is like me.

Matchbox Bullshit

Grrrrr . . . those fucking matchbox fuckers!! You know how a large box of matches is an open box fitted with a cardboard sleeve that you slide back to reveal the matches inside? Well, they make both sides of the sleeve look IDENTICAL so that you can't immediately tell which side is UP and which side is DOWN. Which side is the TOP and which side is the motherfucking BOTTOM?

So you have shit on your mind, trying to plan a romantic evening for which you plan to light candles so you grab the box of matches and you open the motherfucking only to have the matches spill all over the floor because the bitch is upside down.

I can't figure out why they do that, unless it's to make it easier in the store to tell what the box is, in case it gets put back on the shelf upside down or backside out or something. What absolute ridiculousness.