Browser Updates, Java, Flash, Windows, WP -- FUCK!!

I am so motherfucking sick of every fucking time I turn on a computer or try to open a browser, having to wait for another fucking firefox or windows or WHATEVER THE FUCK update to take place. Or having our computers and webcams go down in the middle of the night in order for such automated bullshit to take place.

I understand the necessity of it, I'm just sick of it being such an obvious and continuous part of my life. When you have seven or eight machines and need all of them to PERFORM NOW, it feels so repetitive and never-ending. Which I should just accept, because IT IS. It FEELS that way because it IS that way. I just hate it. HATE IT. Sick of the tech treadmill.

Maybe I'm particularly irritated by it because we just got home from spending an AMAZINGLY FABULOUS three nights in a cabin without running water or electricity or cell phone coverage. And now we're back home to all of this intrusive SHIT. The sound of neighbors' car doors slamming, the hum of these fucking computers, the constant bullshit of software telling me it needs to update now! It just updated! Oh wait, needs to update again! Oh, hahaha -- you thought you'd have a break from that but EVERY FUCKING DAY ON ONE COMPUTER OR ANOTHER, there's something that needs to be updated! Let me just snatch a few moments of your time to make you sit here and wait for some bullshit or make you restart everything . . .

I could cry right now, I want to be back in the woods so fucking bad.

Keys, Motherfucker???

Where are the motherfucking keys?????

I feel like I'm TRAPPED in the house because my girlfriend insists upon hiding the keys in her pockets or baggage or whatever rather than putting them on the table, the same table I manage to set them upon whenever I'm done with them. Well, I almost always put them on the same table, but if not . . . on one of two other tables, conveniently located for key-finding.

She's doing a private show right now so I have to sit here, WAITING, while she makes money. I can't even feel right about hoping her customer hurries up because that would mean less money. I'm *so* tempted, though, to burst into the chatroom and interrupt them both to ask WHERE ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING KEYS????