Very overwhelming & difficult times lately.
Depressed at having to give up and finally take these very overdue books back to the library without having had time to read them.
This is not my beautiful life.
But I am hopeful all of this bullshit working and suffering and shame and disappointment is fueling clarity for building better times ahead. Giving me a more "powerful why". I mean I knew a long time ago important books and time and space to read (just one example) are important to me, but I did not understand HOW important.
And I'm very grateful this actually IS my beautiful, fortunate life. Maybe some things suck right now - a lot - but every one of my days is still full of so much luck. And beauty. And I'm working hard to make things suck less; so much of what is sucking, I have power to make suck less. That is very lucky.
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