Saturday, February 26, 2005

Car Alarms

I hate car alarms, and I sneer at the self-centered materialistic pricks who utilize them.

Our society is clearly fucked up when possessiveness over a hunk of metal supercedes courtesy to others. When an individual thinks his personal automobile is more important than other people's sleep, than other people's eardrums, and simply the preservation of an atmosphere free of loud ALARMS . . . god, it's so fucking insane and selfish I don't even know how it's legal.

People have been stealing cars since cars were invented. I don't think the problem is crime worsening, the problem is materialism worsening. If your car is so fucking precious that insurance won't cover your loss, please . . . buy a less expensive car or keep it locked up in a garage. I can't believe car alarms are legal . . . I just can't. It's revolting.

Whenever I see some chubby little prick with greasy hair taking one last look and aiming his keychain at his stupid fucking SUV or whatever the fuck, issuing forth a chirp or mini-alarm, calling attention to his asinine self before walking away from his precious fucking vehicle, I just want to laugh in his face, slap him, and throw shit at his car.

Everytime we ride the ferry, there is some fucking asshole who sets his or her stupid fucking alarm on the car deck before heading up to get a coffee out of the vending machines in the passenger area. And every time, one of these asshole's alarms goes off because THE FERRY ROCKS, THE FERRY ROLLS, THE FERRY SHAKES AND SHUDDERS. And listen . . . no one can steal your fucking car when it's on the water in the middle of Puget Sound anyway, so fucking relax for a half hour (or stay in your car if there's something so priceless in it that you fear someone will break in). There is a vanity, a selfishness, a materialism, and a paranoid insecurity exhibited by car alarmists that revolts and sickens me so deeply, I barely feel capable of relating to my fellow men if this ludicrous practice of rigging your automobile to sound extremely loud and obnoxious ALARMS is not only tolerated, but perfectly mundane and acceptable. More people should be fucking OUTRAGED by car alarms and the assholes who employ them.

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