Sunday, March 13, 2005

Overpopulation of Submissive Women

I'm going on a shooting rampage if I see one more sex blog by a submissive woman, detailing how hot and horny she gets being overpowered by a man (or men).

What the FUCK??

Seriously, I have as much imagination as the next sex worker, so I can empathize with the allure of submission even if I rarely or never find myself wanting to be dominated to the extremes these women enjoy. I hate to be judgemental of other people's sexuality, so I try to remember that just because *I* am disgusted by most forms of female submission that doesn't mean I can't respect other women openly embracing their desire to submit.

But. I do not understand why the majority of female sex bloggers seem to be subs. The lack of variety really freaks me out . . . there's no BALANCE in the sex blogosphere; very very very few dominant women maintain explicit sex blogs (and that's another "issue" for me: the penthouse letteresque or graphic erotica style of blogging which I have a hard time identifying with in and of itself).

It boggles my mind that so many women are submissive, and that so many of them are only interested in telling that story of themselves. That's really the only story you want to share with the world? It's almost as bizarre to me as women who have nothing to talk about but shopping. I hate shopping, but I've got to tell you -- I'd rather be shopping than submitting myself sexually to a man.

This crazy disproportionate sub to Domme ratio begs the question: are all of these submissive bloggers TRULY women? I hate delving into that whole internet gender doubt game, but really . . . you have to wonder. And yet, most of these sub chicky blogs are so flowery and verbose that I tend to think they're girls.

Again, I'm not doubting the fact that many women are truly submissive and get their rocks off that way. What bothers me is how they seem to be so much more visible than truly dominant women (and women who are switches or D/s neutral) and seem to outnumber us. What the fuck is up with that?

I also find it curious that all of these blogs seem to be written by mostly-straight women, or women who only want to be topped by men.

Back to the issue of their STYLE of writing (constantly sexually-charged); perhaps that is the key to the imbalance. Maybe there's a drive to write in that over-the-top manner and to be completely consumed by submission that is lacking in dominant women. Sure, there are plenty of over-the-top femdom websites, but as far as personal blogs, I don't see any of that. Maybe I'm just not looking hard enough, though.

P.S. The other thing that drives me crazy is wondering . . . where are all the submissive women who like to be dominated by other WOMEN? Where are all of the submissive MEN? I know they exist in high numbers (particularly the latter), so why do women who submit to men seem to be the only ones in this crowd with blogs? Well, I take that back . . . I *have* seen a few blogs/LJ's written by dominant men which I find annoying too.


S. Lee said...

In my experience in the BDSM world there are more submissive men than there are submissive women. It does seem off to find so many blogging subwomen.

DH Spicy said...

Agreed! While I too come across many submissive woman blog, I noted their need to talk about it.

It doesn't bother me, I let them do their stuff and I do my stuff, which is review blogs. (there are many of these coming up too!)

I actually like to look, at what point they class themselves as submissive... Is it just giving in to desire (his) or does it have to hurt or just be subserviant...yadah yadah.

Hey, what the fuck, you don't have to read them!

Anonymous said...

I'm one of those submissive women you speak of, who for whatever reason - and there could be many - has only just now, at the age of 39, discovered another side of herself.

I've got the rest of my life under control, kids, job, family, even marriage, and so on, so I don't feel the need to write, vent and explore my feelings on those topics.

I started my journal in a word doc, but later posted it on LJ in the hope that I could get some support from other submissives. I don't want to come out of the closet for various reasons, and so I don't know anyone to actually speak to face to face which is why the whole blog thing is a godsend to me.

Well I'm two years late with my comment, I just stumbled upon it after a google search, so my apologies if you've changed your opininon since then.

Trixie Fontaine said...

Thanks for your comments and perspective. My rant (which I deliberately posted on my ranty blog which is almost always unfair and sometimes beastly, which is why I keep it in a different place than my other blogging) was mostly about what I feel is a disparity, not a personal judgement against each individual submissive female blogger (though I understand how one would take it that way). My intention was simply to get a frustration off my chest.

Again, thanks to "slut" for providing some perspective. My opinion that there's a frustratingly disproportionate number of straight submissive women in the blogosphere hasn't changed, but it's good to know where one of them is coming from.