Bitch <-----> Pollyanna

You've heard of the whole Madonna / Whore dichotomy, or "complex", right? Where men (but women definitely do it too) sort women into this binary of pure saintly virgin mommies or stretched-out man-eating money-hungry slutzzzzzzz, and it totally ruins their relationships, but more importantly, their boners. Men's boners are not really most important, but that premise is what this psychological idea of a complex is built around: the man-child's almighty erection or lack thereof.

Lately I've been more concerned with the whole super-sexist / gendered / misogynist BITCH vs Pollyanna binary: these two extreme femme archetypes that are hated on all the more for their sexlessness.

Madonnas and whores are super-sexualized; they are defined by their relationships to (straight) men. Bitches and Pollyannas, on the other hand, are defined by their un-sexiness, and in a way that is very different from the Madonna archetype; bitches and Pollyannas are not (perceived by men as being) capable of (nor do they behave as if they are interested in) being fuckable OR breedable, making them all the more worthless and not worth putting up with their irritatingly powerful missions and influences. Bitches and Pollyannas, mean old crones and little girls with loud ideas.

Is there already a bunch of writing about this? If so, I'm sorry I don't know about it or have forgotten, and just recently thinking about it a lot after hearing Robert Greene worry that he sounds like a pollyanna for finding gratitude around suffering and surviving and learning from his stroke. It reminded me how much it's always bothered me that people find a way to hate on this child-character who plays "the glad game" to get through life's losses and challenges. Like ... what is your fucking problem that you hate the idea of her and this practice of looking on the bright side and finding things to be grateful for? How is that something to be ashamed or embarrassed of?

Somehow I think it all boils down to women still being second-class citizens made from Adam's rib (not really, but this is part of our mythology), brought to life purely to serve as companions to men; bitches and pollyannas exist FOR THEMSELVES. They have values and priorities completely independent of being in relationship to men or baby-making. They have strong belief systems that do not center sex or gender and they are VOCAL about these firmly-held beliefs, making them repellant. They demand attention and respect outside of dominant social structures and systems, with no obvious chance of a payoff in the form of mothering or pleasure. Gross. Annoying. Waste of time. Makes me self-conscious. Competes with me for the floor. Makes me question my own role and value. Has high standards I've never considered living up to.

I may be a bitch, but at heart I am (also?) a Pollyanna. And I'm glad.

*****

I've only seen the movie and not read the book (wait ... maybe I did read it, but was a child myself in like 4th grade ... maybe that is why I am so attached to her?), so I appreciated this post I just read on a sweet-looking blog called Independently Happy with a summary of the book's character (the OG Pollyanna): WHY IS POLLYANNA DEFINED SO HARSHLY?

The way this character has been wrongly turned into an insane extremely unbalanced optimistic forcing her blind irrational positivity on everything and everyone is a sexist perversion reflecting not the character's flaws, but people's contempt for women and children. It is a way to take the focus off of the helpfulness of shifting your perspective to gratitude and working to BE truly helpful ON TOP OF IT -- to see what you have the power to positively change when things are really shitty -- and turn that virtue and practice into something loathsome and retarded: the silly painted on smile of a fake-ass little bitch and her annoying little happy-voice.