Saturday, February 04, 2023

When You're In My Neighborhood ...

Don't come into someone else's neighborhood and park your dumb-ass car in front of the fucking fire hydrant. And/or right in a blind corner. And/or drive so fucking unnecessarily fast where people's kitty cats, squirrel friends, hound dogs, and small children are doing their energetic young-minded best, totally prone to running out into the middle of the street.

Like slow the fuck down and/or learn to walk a few fucking feet you impatient self-centered inconsiderate fartknocking life-endangering motherfuckers.

You're not the ultra-capable omnipotent omniscient fucking GOD behind the wheel you think you are. How do I know? Look at that stupid fucking phone you're holding onto (oh wait I don't need to tell you to look at it YOU ALREADY ARE). You don't know how to drive, you're a menace, and where you're going is not nearly as fucking important and urgent as you seem to think it is.

I hope when Jesus takes your wheel you don't bring any other lives down with you. I don't know a single bushy-tailed rodent whose life I don't value more than yours, you self-important cocksucker.

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